I'll fight for you
by IWantToMarryJames
Summary: His smell was enough to drive her crazy. An impulse makes her kiss him, but is she aware of the consequenses? JPLE, rated M for safety. Warning, this story contains bad language and eating disorders, don't read if it bothers you.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey, so this story didn't turn out at all like I imagined it. Oh well, haven't quite decided if it's a one-shot or not. Time will have to tell. Anyway, enjoy it and please review ;)

Disclaimer: No. I'm not JKR. I'm JVD, much more flashy. And no, I don't own either Lily or James or anything else you might recognize from the books.

Although I have a little doll that looks a lot like James in my room. And that one, belongs to me.

"Evans…" a voice said, or rather whispered, in her ear. "Evans… Wake up…"

There it was again, that beautiful, beautiful voice. Instead of waking her up, it was soothing her.

Whoever the voice belonged to smelled as wonderful as the voice. It was spicy and clean and reminded her a bit of sunshine.

"Bloody hell…" the voice muttered and some very unfamiliar sparks shot through her body. Suddenly she felt herself being lifted and enveloped by two strong arms

The warmth that surrounded her did little to wake her up. The scent, however, that now seemed to be everywhere, intoxicated her.

"Who needs drugs anyways?" she thought to herself, drowsy from sleeping and from the delicious smell.

She could feel herself being laid down gently on her cold bed, which didn't smell nearly as nice.

Whoever it was removed her shoes, socks and ties and the pulled the cover over her.

Gentle fingertips brushed away her fringe and she moaned quietly at the touch.

The sound of her own, er, voice made her eyes snap open and she found the handsome face of James Potter looming above her face.

"Great, so _now_ you wake up." he muttered.

She didn't know what made her do it, but the next second she'd pulled his head down and was kissing him with all her might.

He tasted even better than he smelt, Lily found out as she ran her tongue over his bottom lip. It was a strange feeling, kissing him and liking it in the dark of her room. She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew a hand through his hair.

"No wonder he does this all the time…" she thought as his silky locks slipped through her fingers.

He kissed her back passionately, his tongue plunging into her mouth, exploring. He licked at the roof of her mouth and she moaned again, unable to contain herself.

As sudden as she had started it, he pulled back.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered painfully "I can't – I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that…"

"No, it's not your fault. You didn't take advantage of me. Please don't think that." She pleaded, trying to catch his eye.

An awkward silence followed.

"Er, I should go…" he said, running a hand through his hair uncomfortably.

"Thanks…" she said as he drifted towards the door. "For you know… carrying me up here and everything-"

"Don't mention it. Good night, Evans." He said, his voice soft.

"Good night… James." She said quietly, not entirely sure he'd heard her.

When she woke up the next morning she felt light and happy somehow. Then the nights events came back to her.

What had she done? And with James Potter!

She blushed, it wasn't him who'd initiated the whole thing either, it had been her.

Still blushing she got up, got dressed, combed her hair and other necessary things, trying to take as long time as possible to cut down the chances of meeting him.

She hesitated about going down to the common room until she realised that there was a Quidditch match, Ravenclaw playing Hufflepuff, and that James most likely would be there.

After a while of just sitting around she decided to go to the library.

She'd barely stepped out of the portrait when she felt a hand tap her shoulder.

"Black!" she said, surprised when she saw who it was. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you at the Quidditch match?"

"I have no interest in seeing Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff playing each other and since I'm not Quidditch captain I don't have to see if they're flying well or not. As for your other question, I'm here because you and I need to talk."

"We do?"

"Yes. James came to talk to us last night about what you'd done. My first question is, do you like him?"

"Not like _that_."

"Then stay the hell away from him." The coldness in his voice made her jump. She wasn't used to him being anything but carefree.

"Excuse me?"

"I said; _stay the hell away from him_."

"Look," she said frustrated "I didn't mean for it to happen and he wasn't exactly complaining at the time."

"Oh God, you should hear yourself. I can just imagine what you'd say to him if it was the other way around." He imitated her with a high, squeaky voice. "Potter, you arrogant bastard! Why would you think that I'd accept something so disgusting as your tongue in my mouth! I'd kiss the squid before I'd kiss you willingly! You're just a worthless piece of shit that doesn't even deserve to kiss the dirt I walk on!"

"I wouldn't – I wouldn't say that." She said with a shaky voice.

"The hell you would! He came to our dorm last night, so shaken, so damn upset about what you'd done to him!"

"What do you mean 'I'd done to him'?"

"You remember the three weeks off he had in sixth year?"

"You mean the three extra weeks of vacation he had when everybody else had to go to school?"

"No, I mean the three weeks he spent at a clinic to help cure his anorexia because he was so thin he couldn't stand up for himself without passing out! Do you remember the weeks when he came back, you know, you're endless taunting about him being so special he got extra vacation, when all he _really_ was, was an arrogant jerk who shouldn't even had bothered to come back!"

"I didn't know… He didn't tell me…"

"OF COURSE HE BLOODY WELL DIDN'T TELL YOU!" Sirius exploded and she whimpered, automatically putting an arm up to protect her face.

"And take that arm down, I unlike you, don't enjoy hurting people."

"Well, how was I supposed to know? He was always so bloody arrogant, always surrounding himself with thousands of girls!" she screamed back, flushing scarlet.  
"No, you don't know, because you don't know him! You don't know all the shit he's gone through, you don't know the struggle he has to fight every day and you sure as hell don't know why he ever was like he was. Of course he surrounded himself with girls, he had such low self-esteem, much thanks to you, he did anything he could to try to get himself more popular, more accepted. He liked you so damn much, I could never see why. Every word you said to him cut him so damn deep…" Sirius voice broke and Lily realised how much Sirius cared for James for the very first time.

"All the pressure he had on him, everything… until he just snapped one day. Do you know how scared I was every single day when he came back to Hogwarts? And _I _felt responsible for what he'd done to himself. Had I just been a bit more observant, had I known him well enough to see through his lies about not eating with us. And all through this time all he could think about was how he'd let you down."

"So you're jealous because he cared more about me than you?"

"No, I was mad at him because he couldn't see… I didn't tell him to give up on you because I thought it was a hopeless cause, I told him to give up on you because you don't deserve him." He said harshly and she flinched.

"You don't deserve to be around him, you don't deserve his love. He is the best friend anyone could ever have and he puts so much time into making everybody happy and pleased around him that he forgets his own happiness. If you knew what he's done for us… If you knew him the slightest you'd beg for forgiveness at his feet and crawl in the mud for him as you made him do for you. You're cruel, Evans, you're just plain evil."

He took a deep breath and stopped, stopping her as well with his arm.

"And the reason James hasn't had a girlfriend this year isn't because he can't possibly love anyone but you, but because he's not allowed. If he goes around thinking about what other people think about him, or thinks about them, his body can't take it. His mind can't take it and it'll go back to the crazy way he was thinking before. When you kissed him last night _he_ felt guilty. He was a bloody wreck, and guess what, he didn't show for breakfast."

His grip on her arm tightened.

"I'm watching you, and I'm telling you to stay away from him. I don't want to loose my best friend because some stupid chick suddenly comes to her senses."

"What can I do?" she said softly, for the first time realising that what she said and did affected people.

She wasn't better than James, never had been. She was cruel to him for no real reason. She judged someone she didn't know. Exactly what he'd done to Severus. But where Severus loathed James back, stood up for himself, James had laid his heart out in front of her.

And she'd ruined him.

"Stay the bloody well away from him."

And with those words Sirius left her not even looking at her one last time as he walked away.

When Lily came back to her common room later at night James was there.

"Hello." She said quickly and smiled.

He didn't smile back.

"Sirius talked to you, didn't he?" James said quietly and she turned.

"What?"

"Sirius told you about me, about my… disease."

"No, he just -"

"Don't lie to me, Lily." His tone was harsh.

In the light of the fire he looked a bit like a god. His black, shiny hair reflected the flames and his eyes burned. If it was the light or anger, Lily couldn't tell. But the sight, none the less, made her breathless.

"He… He talked to me. Yes."

She could see his discomfort and stepped closer to his position on the couch. She reached out a hand to touch his shoulder.

The minute her hand made contact he jumped up and away from her as if on fire.

"Fuck you, Lily. Fuck you. I don't need your sympathy and I sure as hell don't need your pity."

"What the hell is your problem James?"

"One of them starts with an a, the other one starts with a L and ends with a Y, care to guess what the other to letters are?"

"And all I was going to do was apologize for kissing you, you git!"

She knew what he was trying to do. She knew that this was just his way of dealing with it, to get her wind up so she didn't pity him, so she didn't feel sorry for him. He wanted her to hurt him so he could distance himself from her.

She knew it all so perfectly well, and still she couldn't stop the words from forming.

"Apology accepted, now fuck off." His words hit her as if he'd slapped her.

"Tell me, James, what did you have for breakfast today, or lunch? Did you enjoy the shepherd's pie that was for dinner?"

"What do you care, anyway?"

"I care because you're hurting people around you! Sirius was mad worrying about you today and this is how you repay all those peoples efforts for keeping you alive? You need to stop being so selfish and think about what you're doing to the people around you."

"And I thought Sirius told you." His voice was so low, but so full of anger, Lily had never been so scared in her life.

It was too late when she realised what she'd said.

"You think I'm selfish? You think _I, _am selfish?"

"No, I didn't mean it like -"

"You have no idea what it's like, carrying around something like this. Some days are harder, days like this and I just can't eat, because I know how horrible I'll feel and I'll just end up sticking two fingers down my bloody throat.

"Some days I just lock myself in my room, wondering why the hell I keep fighting. Wondering if it's really worth this hell to just do something as pointless as staying alive. Why don't I just give in to the voices in my head, why don't I just cave? I was happier then, I was happier than I've ever been in my life.

"And then I think of Sirius, I think of Remus, I think of Peter and I can just imagine the look on their faces if I fail. So I keep fighting, and I do it for them, because I can't bear the thought of making them unhappy just because I'm so bloody weak. So don't you dare accuse me of something like that, because you don't know me. You don't know how hard this is and I don't need you to judge me. I don't need your pity and I don't want your friendship. I just want you… gone." He finished weakly, tears streaming down his face.

He turned around and went to sit on the couch again, burying his face in his hands, silent sobs wrecking his body.

"I know you don't want me here, and I know what I said was unforgivable. But when you fight those voices, could you think of me too?" she said quietly, a couple of her own tears sliding down her cheek.

He didn't say anything for a while, so she turned to leave.

She'd barely gotten halfway up the stairs when she thought she heard his voice whisper.

"I can't fight for anything else."

She smiled slightly and continued up, feeling as though she'd left a part of her behind her.

With him.

A/N: So, what did you think? I've written quite a few of these, where James has eating disorders, but this is the only one I actually liked. Did you like it? Didn't you? Please tell.

Flames are appreciated if I learn something from them, otherwise, keep your opinions to yourself. Reviews like "you suck" will only make me mad and I'll be forced to send someone big and dark after you. Preferably Lord Voldemort.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Part two of I'll fight for you. I don't know. I don't like it very much. I'm hoping you will, though.**

**Disclaimer**: I own everything. I also live in a castle with James Potter and he's always smothered in chocolate. Ah… Ignorance is bliss.

She woke up to a dark sky and wondered briefly, like so many times before, if the weather actually changed with her mood.

It had been a week since she last spoke to him. A week of silence, a week of wondering, a week of waiting and, most of all, a week of confusion.

She didn't want him to hang around her, did she?

He was still James Potter. The same annoying prat that used to drive her mad with his arrogant boasting and reckless behaviour.

And still… He wasn't.

He was so much more than she ever gave him credit for. So much stronger, so much wiser, so much more… human, than she ever thought he would be.

She hated herself for avoiding him and his friends. That she didn't have enough courage to just go up to him, apologise, tell him how she felt.

But how did she feel?

It was all such a mess.

Ever since that night when she kissed him, she couldn't get it out of her head. Everything she ate tasted dull next to him, her cuddly bear she'd had since she was two was heart-breakingly cold and nothing, absolutely nothing smelled like him.

And by **god** was it killing her.

She hadn't shown up in class for the last two days either. Being around him made her dizzy and confused. She needed to think, but she couldn't do that with him around.

What confused her the most was how she now missed his attention.

Because where she thought she was doing a good job at avoiding him, he was doing twice as good.

She'd never thought she'd miss the day when James Potter would be out of her way.

She sighed and turned under the covers.

She would go to class tomorrow.

Yes, tomorrow she would start over. Tomorrow was going to be good. She could feel it.

----------------------------------------------------------------

It didn't surprise her when she woke up at eleven by the thunder storm that was raging outside her window. She shuddered involuntarily.

She hated thunder.

There was a large bang somewhere and she thought it must be the weather.

The noise was heard again and Lily realised that it was coming from inside. From their dorm to be more exact, and just outside her door,

Someone was banging on her door.

Perplexed she shouted "Come in!" before she realised that there was only one other person who had access to this place.

James Potter strode into the room, dark circles beneath his eyes and a hollow, haunted look on his face.

At seeing her in bed he stopped, suddenly.

He looked confused, as if he didn't know what he was supposed to do now that he was here.

"James?" she asked, rather unnecessarily. "What are you doing here?" her voice was slightly hoarse and she wondered if it was because she had just woken up or by the way her body was heating up at his presence.

"Er, I, er, came to see, you know, if you were alright." he said softly, confused, and stepped closer so that he could kneel next to her bed.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded a bit, his smell invading her nose and numbing her senses.

"I feel better now, thanks." she said shyly. He was so close and all she could think about was the other night, when she'd kissed him.

Right before the moment when the whole world turned upside down.

"We were worried, I-" he hesitated and she found him adorable as he did "I was worried. I asked your friends if they knew anything but you hadn't talked to them and, well, I didn't know what to think."

"I was just..." she paused, searching for the right words "thinking. There's so much going on in my mind right now and I just needed a break, you know?"

"I know..." he whispered and she noticed how thin he was looking. Even though muscles were clearly visible beneath his shirt, it seemed it was all there was. He looked heart breakingly skinny, and at the same time so strong, her heart melted.

The decision was easy and all the doubts and thoughts she had about him quickly faded as she saw her opportunity.

She moved into the wall and lifted the covers.

"Lie down, James." she demanded and he hesitated again.

"Lily, you know I can't -"

"I know, James, I know. I just want to talk to you. Please?"

Reluctantly he slipped beneath the covers and she snuggled up against his chest, never wanting the smell of him to ever leave her again.

"How are you?" she asked quietly and he stiffened. She hurried to explain herself.

"I want you to be able to talk to me. I want to know how you're doing. Sometimes you just need to talk about things and frankly, I don't think you do enough of it."

She looked up at him and saw a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"I'm okay, I guess. Not bad and not fine, obviously, but ok."

"Can I ask you how?"

"You might not like the answer." he said seriously and she smiled. He relaxed a bit and she ventured the thought that had been plaguing her mind for days.

"How did it all begin?"

"I don't really know. I guess... it all starts with my dad."

"Your dad?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, my father died at the beginning of sixth year, he was old - really, really old - and he was ill. It wasn't exactly unexpected, but still... It was my dad."

She snuggled up closer, hugging him tighter, letting him know that she was still there.

"And, well, it just broke my mother's heart. She was sad and lonely with me here and everything and since I'd grown up so loved and protected I didn't know how to handle it. I wanted to give something back to them, to her. I knew he always wanted me to be Head Boy and prefect, so I started to work hard. I wanted her to be proud of me too. I wanted her to see that even though everything in her world was shattered and broken, I was something to hold on to."

He sighed.

"You might remember that Dumbledore made me prefect in the middle of sixth year?"

She nodded into his chest. She remembered it alright, and she had been so unbelievably upset by it.

"And at the same time I was Quidditch captain, school was harder than ever, Sirius and Remus were still fighting and everything was just so stressful.

"I started skipping breakfast to get some more sleep. Prefect duties, homework and Quidditch were just too much and I needed sleep, I told myself. Loads of people didn't eat breakfast."

He stopped and she looked up, he smiled ironically.

"That was the lie I was feeding the Marauders as well."

"Oh." she said and ran her hand up his arm to sooth him.

"And you know... It was just so easy. I had total control over it. I got more time if I wasn't eating and I could relax more, I wasn't really that hungry anyway."

He paused again and she looked up.

"I don't know if you want to know the rest."

"I can handle it. I know I've hurt you and I'm so, so sorry about it. I just think that you need to talk about it more often. And I want to know how it happened, what methods you used, everything... Because I want to be there to prevent it from ever happening again."

"Why? We've never been friends, you've never even liked me until you found about my weakness."

His outburst was unexpected and she cowered a bit against his body.

"It is _not_ a weakness. Don't you dare say that again, James Potter." she replied harshly and he looked at her with a mix of irritation and adoration in his eyes.

"It doesn't change anything." he said quietly and she shook her head.

"It changes everything." she said and anger filled his eyes as he tried to get away from her.

"But not in the way you think it does." she said, irritated at him now as she tried to hold him back.

"Then how? How does it change anything?" he snapped and she closed her eyes to find the right words.

"Because it made me realise that I was wrong about who you were! Because it formed you into who you are today! Because it made me skip classes! Because it changes everything to the better!" she exclaimed loudly and he grinned, for the first time in a very long time.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Evans, I was just asking."

"It's Lily, not Evans." she said softly and he smiled again, but softer and then he nodded.

"I... I just don't wan't to hurt you."

"You won't." she assured him and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"At the beginning of fifth year I felt something for you that I had never felt before for anyone. It was strong and it was addictive. I needed to be near you, I needed you to notice me, I needed you to look at me the way I looked at you. And then you know what happened, I asked you out a million times, and you got pissed off at me, which was quite understandable.

"I don't really know why I just didn't quit it when everything was upside down, but I didn't. It was a constant and at that point I couldn't be without familiar routines. I would ask you out, you would say no..." he paused again, closing his eyes, and then when he opened them, he looked everywhere but at her. "But you got personal. You commented on my looks, the way I talked, the way I walked and the way I played Quidditch. I was all wrong... and I just adored you too much to forget it."

He took a shaky breath before continuing.

"I trained harder after that. Quidditch became my life, I wanted to get more muscles and at the same time I wanted to be lighter so that I would fly faster... What I was eating became an obsession. I kept a journal where I wrote everything down, what I had eaten that day, how much weight I had lost and if I was stronger.

"I was sick of myself... I slept with thousands of girls just to get a boost of self confidence, that what I was doing was working. Girls _liked _me this way. This went on and on until one day suddenly I couldn't take it anymore. I collapsed."

"What was it like?" she asked carefully.

"Collapsing? Awful. I couldn't breathe, I was aching **everywhere**, my head was pounding and I couldn't even scream for help... Sirius and Remus found me and they took me to madam Pomfrey who sent me to a sort of clinic."

A tear was leaking from his eye and she brushed it away.

"You must think I'm such a girl. It's the second time you've seen me crying in less than a week."

"Didn't I tell you? I like sensitive guys, girly boys are an obsession of mine."

He laughed a dry laugh and she smiled.

"What happened next?"

"I went to the clinic, I spoke to a psychiatrist, I met other people in my position, mostly girls."

"Did it help?"

"I understood that I had a problem and that I had to do something about it if I wanted to survive."

She brushed away his fringe that persisted on falling down and covering his beautiful eyes.

"Are you doing better now? In spite of everything, in spite of me?"

He smiled.

"I'm not half as bad as I was before, I've gained weight, even though I know you don't believe me. Sure you turned my world upside down there for a while, but you've managed to straighten it out quite well."

"What about Sirius, Remus and Peter? Didn't they suspect anything?"

"There's a reason to why we're legends here, Lily, we can be very sneaky. I ate with them all the time, I just went to the bathroom afterwards to throw up. I told them that I was going to the kitchens for a late night snack, and instead I went for a run. I came up with all sorts of lies..."

"Is that why Sirius feels so guilty? Is that why he wants to look after you?"

"I think so, yeah. He's my best mate and we've known each other since forever, you know, he's like a _brother_. I don't blame him for not finding out sooner or anything, I'm just thankful he dragged me to the hospital wing and then hexed me so that I would go to the clinic. He was there when I needed him and never once backed down. That's what counts for me."

"I wish I was as close with some of my friends as the four of you seem to be."

"It can be a pain too. They know everything about you and by god do they act like overprotective mothers sometimes."

She laughed and he grinned at her.

"You know what?" he said and brushed a strand of hair from her face.

"What?" she smiled.

"I think you may have been right. Because either you're really good at making people feel better, or it helps to talk about it."

"Oh, James, I'm _always_ right." she sighed and he wrinkled his nose as he shook his head.

"Way to ruin a moment, Lily."

The sound of her name from his lips made her heart skip a beat.

"And you just brought it back." she said, and he smiled a wide, genuine smile, taking her breath away.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

She was up, she was dressed, she was showered and most importantly, she was no longer in her room.

Instead, she was on her way to the Gryffindor common room.

After assuring her friends that she was okay and that all that had happened was a bad case of a cold she'd gone looking for him.

She was starting to understand the whole being-addicted-to-people-thing. He was addicting. His smile, his smell, his lips, his hair, his voice... everything.

She was just about to turn down another corridor when the voice she was longing to hear rang down the corridor.

"Why is it such a big deal that I talked to Lily?"

"She's _Lily_ now?"

Remus sounded personally offended. So did Lily, she'd always gotten along well with Remus.

"Yes."

"Look, Prongs, this is Lily Evans, not just some random girl. You were obsessed with her during fifth year, she caused half of your... problems."

"Well, that proves how much you know." James snapped, his voice like ice. "Don't you think I appreciate everything you do for me, Sirius? Remus? Personally I think I'm the luckiest bloke in the world to have such friends who support me this way. But that does not mean that you can run my life for me."

"Look, James, we just want you to get better-"

"_She_ makes me feel better. _She _makes me open up, _she _makes me confront things I've been ashamed to talk about. _She _does not treat me like glass, and _she_ makes me happy. Can't that just be enough for you?"

His statement seemed to hang in the air and Lily took the opportunity to enter.

"James, there you are!" she exclaimed and all three boys turned to look at her.

Sirius face was contorted with anger as he saw her, Remus just fixed her with an icy glare.

But James... His body relaxed and his face softened.

"Lily." he replied and smiled.

"I've been looking for you, everywhere!" she said and approached them

"And why is that?" he said grinning, as she neared him.

"Well," she said and hooked her arm into his "I've been in a mood of breaking rules these past, er, seconds. So I thought to myself, who do I know who breaks rules all the time? And then your face popped into my head."

"Did you just say that you wanted to break rules. As in not follow them?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. It's my seventh year at this school and I still don't know where the kitchens are... Show it to me?" she pleaded and he smiled.

"Of course, we never know when you might be in the mood again." he said, amused.

"Exactly." she nodded and smiled. "Sirius, Remus." she acknowledged them with a nod and then proceeded in dragging James with her.

"I'll see you two later." he called over his shoulder as they left for the kitchens.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"I did not say that!" Lily laughed and swatted James across his arm.

"Oh yes you did! You said that you felt sorry for Filch because his nostrils were so big all his magic had been blown out of him!"

"Shut up! I haven't said anything of the sort!" she giggled and he nodded vigorously, trying to catch his breath from laughing so much.

They were sitting in front of the fire in their common room, talking about old times at Hogwarts. What it had been like their first year, what the sorting hat had said, everything.

It was simply... amazing, the way something as simple as talking had brought the old James back. The James that used to laugh, have fun and tease her endlessly.

He was still laughing, and grumpily she hit him over the head.

Immediately he sobered up.

"You know you're going to regret that."

"How?" she challenged and a smirk slid across his face.

"Like this."

As graceful as a cat he lunged himself onto her and started tickling her mercilessly.

"Please, James, stop!" she said in-between laughs and he wrinkled his nose.

"Say you're sorry."

"I'm sorry!" she panted and tried to get his hands off of her.

"Apology accepted." he grinned and stopped.

She was suddenly aware of how close they were, when his delicious body weight was pressing her down into the couch and her gaze slid automatically to his lips.

"Kiss me." she whispered and pulled his head closer to hers.

He was barely a breath away and any movement on his part would make their lips meet.

His eyes bored into hers, searching her eyes for something.

She wasn't entirely sure what it was he was looking for, but he must've found it, because the next second he was pressing his lips against hers.

His lips were softer than she remembered, and his kisses were much more passionate than they had been in the dark of her room.

He ran his tongue along her bottom lip and she moaned, granting him access in doing so.

This time he didn't pull back at her moan but instead deepened the kiss further. He rested his arms at the sides of her and grinded his body into hers, making them both moan in unison.

She shivered and brought her arms around his neck, playing with the hair on his neck, earning a groan from him.

Their kissing became more frenzied and more passionate for every touch, every stroke, every second that passed.

He let one of his hands travel down her side and then play with the hem of her shirt before slipping it under.

She gasped at the new sensation as he traced small circles on her bare skin.

Without a warning he pulled away.

"Lily, you know that I want you... By _Merlin_, I want you..." his voice was a strained whisper, deliciously hoarse in her ear. "But you know I can't... Not now anyway... And I don't think that I could have you for one night and then never have you again in my life. It's not fair to you or me."

"James?" she said, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "When can you start seeing girls again?"

"In about four months." he said, his voice painful.

"I'll wait for you," she whispered "I'll wait four months until you're healthy again."

"I can't ask you to do that for me..." he whispered and closed his eyes as he pressed a kiss onto her neck.

"You don't have to. I don't want anyone else. I want you, and you alone."

"You're so beautiful... did you know that?" he whispered against her skin.

"Whenever I'm around you, I feel like it." she said and then whimpered slightly as his stubble grazed her neck.

"I'll count the days." he said against her mouth.

"I'll count the hours." she replied and he smiled.

"I'll come up with babies names."

"I'll run away."

"I'll chase you."

"I'll fall."

"I'll be there to catch you."

"Oh, James," she laughed and kissed him lightly "you already have..."

**A/N: I know, I don't even think it's half as good as the first one. But this was all I could come up with. Anyway, tell me what you think or I might, er, not do anything. Except kill you. And that's always a bummer.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Here it is, the third and last instalment of this little threeshot. Roughly eight sides, so if it seems like I've lost interest and just decided to end it, well, let's just say you're not far off. **

Disclaimer: Darn it, you caught me. I'm not JK, I don't live in a castle and James Potter isn't always smothered in chocolate. He only agreed to do that once.

It was torture, Lily decided. Plain, unadultured, terrifyingly agonizing torture.

She was pretty certain by this point that if she fought in the war raging outside the castle walls and got captured by Voldemort and his followers, it wouldn't matter whatever sick things they might do to her, because it would be nothing, _absolutely nothing_, against the pain she was feeling inside of her at the moment.

Seeing him at lunch was becoming unbearable.

Talking to him was hard.

Just knowing, knowing that they both wanted each other so much it hurt, but couldn't do anything about it, was slowly killing her.

She usually felt his stare upon her in class. It sent quivering spears of pleasure down her spine and she could barely contain a moan from escaping her mouth.

Only once, during the last two months, had they given in to temptation.

She had provoked him, wearing her skirt higher than usual and her shirt buttoned down, showing _a lot _of cleavage. All because she simply couldn't stand not being around him any longer.

His eyes had followed her the entire day, growling and sending menacing looks at other boys who stared.

Even Sirius had given a low whistle when she walked by, earning him a sharp blow on the head from James.

Her stomach fluttered at the memory.

------------ _Flashback _----------------

_She yelped in surprise when she felt someone pull her into a deserted classroom. A broom calloused hand was clamped over her mouth and a hard body was pressed flush against her back._

_"Schh..." the attacker's voice murmured in her ear and she relaxed instantly._

_Classes were just finished, which meant that all students were either in their common room or on their way to the Great Hall, patrols wouldn't start until after dinner._

_He'd obviously done this before._

_"Are you deliberately trying to kill me?" he said roughly and turned her around so that she was facing him._

_She had the decency to blush and looked down at the floor._

_"I..." she started and looked up, only to get caught in his shimmering, hazel eyes._

_James pushed her against the door with hard force and her back slammed into the wood behind._

_The pain from the impact, however, was far from her mind when he bent down and captured her lips with his._

_It was rough, passionate and demanding. Nothing like the kisses they had shared before._

_His hands were not resting gentlemanlike on her waist, instead they were straying to places where no one had ever touched her before, leaving a trail of fire in their wake._

_He grinded his body into hers, letting her know exactly how much he wanted her._

_Her hands were running through his hair with equal desperation and she rolled her hips against his. Anything to fill the hole of burning desire that was taking over her body._

_"Don't you ever, __**ever**__, pull a stunt like this on me again." he said fiercely between kisses and she shuddered at his raspy tone._

_"Do you have any idea at all what it does to me?"_

_His hands were on her again. As were his lips._

_Kissing, nibbling, biting..._

_"James..." she moaned as he bit down on her pulse point._

_He attacked her lips again, ravishing them with savage need. _

_The taste of him fiery and addictive as he worked his tongue into her mouth, licking at the roof._

_The movement caused her to wake up. To realize exactly what it was she was putting him through._

_Putting them through._

_"I'm sorry." she said and broke away from him. "I have no excuses, except that I wanted to be with you so very badly."_

_He rested his forehead against hers._

_"I know..." he sighed. "Merlin, I know..."_

_Their breath mingled and his hand came up to cup her cheek._

_He pulled her into him, brushing his lips against hers in a sweet and gentle kiss that spoke of love and adoration._

_"But can you please, for my sanity's sake, and for every male in Hogwarts safety, start wearing decent clothes again?"_

_"I will." she promised and reluctantly he stepped back._

_"Only two months and 23 days left now." he said and she couldn't help but laugh._

_"Actually, its two months, 22 days and 16 hours left." she said and then exited the classroom._

_Leaving a stunned and pleased James behind._

_-------------- Flashback Over ------------------_

23 days had gone since that incident.

And she needed another one.

She saw him in the common room and decided that being away from him was far worse than being near. It had to be.

With that thought in mind she walked over to him and his friends.

His eyes shone with something she had never seen before when he saw her approach and she blushed.

"Hey," she said softly and looked around to find an empty seat.

That problem was solved rather quickly when James took matters in his own hands and abruptly pulled her down on his knee.

"Hey, you." he said in her ear and a shiver worked its way down her spine.

"What's up?" she said softly and he smiled.

"Nothing, you?"

"I missed you." she said bluntly, unable to keep it inside of her for much longer.

"I haven't exactly been away." he grinned and she smacked him on his arm.

"I know that. But I thought it would be a whole lot easier if I stayed away from you. Turns out I'm wrong."

"Very, very wrong." he said and then added so that only she could hear "I missed you too."

"Good." she said, smiling and leaning her head on his shoulder.

"How are you?" she asked, and hoped that he wouldn't notice the slight desperation in her voice.

"Better, almost good actually."

Her face broke out into a broad grin.

"Really?"

"Yeah," he laughed and ran his fingers up and down her arm. "really." he promised.

"What's keeping you from being good then?"

"Well, you see, there's this stunning redhead in our year, you might know her, and I'm not allowed to date her until another two months. It's getting me a bit bummed out."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I have a crush on this arrogant jerk, you might know him, tall, gangly, conceited, absolutely crap at quidditch..." she teased and he playfully hit her arm.

"Hey, 'gangly' doesn't fit me anymore, do you know how much weight I've gained?" he asked her, mock serious.

"No, tell me, please." she smirked and batted her eyelashes at him.

"Well, the thing is, I'm not sure, I weigh more than you do now, though." his gaze swept over her. "Or at least, I hope I do, otherwise my ego would take one hell of a blow."

"Actually, that doesn't seem to be such a bad idea..." she smirked and he smiled.

Their eyes locked and she licked her lips nervously.

The playful mood they'd created was no longer present as his eyes were fixed upon her lips.

"Lily..." he whispered and the whole world seemed to disappear.

It was only him and her in the common room. They were all that mattered.

"God, you drive me _crazy_." he said hoarsely and made a blush rise on her cheeks.

A loud bang startled them out of their bubble and her head snapped up.

Sirius was standing up, staring at them with a furious expression on his face.

His gaze was so intense her own wavered. James's however, was not.

He was staring back at Sirius with a gaze full of something so scary, so intense it almost looked like hate. The anger was colouring his otherwise hazel eyes black and Sirius eyes were already glazed over with resentment, the cool grey resembling steel.

She shuddered.

"You know what, _James_," Sirius said, disgust dripping in his voice and Lily saw how the simple use of his name hit James like a painful blow.

Not once had she heard Sirius use his _name_ before.

Remus did it occasionally, since he thought that they were a little too old to use nicknames on each other, but never Sirius.

The names connected them, and Lily couldn't even remember the last time either of them had used their real names face to face.

The hurt flashed in James eyes, replacing the anger and making him look so very fragile.

"Padfoot..."

His voice was a whispered plea, but Sirius only snorted.

"Just because you're suddenly shagging little miss Bitch over there doesn't mean I have to sit here and watch you two together when you bloody well know how I feel about it!"

James stood up with her in his arms, careful not to hurt her and then placed her back down in the chair again before running after Sirius and grabbing his arm.

"Take that back." he said, his voice low and dangerous. Sirius shook his head.

"No. And you know what? Since I'm a decent bloke, I'll give you a choice instead of just walking away. It's either her or us."

That drew the attention of quite a few Gryffindors.

"You can't be serious." James said, taking a step back. "Moony, tell him he's not making any sense."

Remus, however, went up and stood next to Sirius.

James stared at them both in disbelief.

"You're taking his side?"

Remus nodded and sent Lily an icy glare.

James shook his head and took a step back from them.

"_This_ is how you repay me?" he asked.

Neither Sirius nor Remus moved a muscle.

James turned his attention to Peter.

"Do you feel this way too, Wormtail?" his voice sounded tired.

The whole common room was watching entranced to see what decision Peter would make.

"I... I don't know." he said finally, torn between his two role models. "I think what they say makes sense, but I don't know if I agree."

But Lily, and everyone else in the room, knew that James had lost Peter too. It was unlikely Peter would stay on the weak side.

"You're really going to make me choose?" he asked and both Sirius and Remus nodded.

"Fine." he said and threw his hands up. "I choose her."

The common room gasped and their attention was now on Lily instead, who blushed a deep red.

"Fine." Sirius shrugged and started turning around.

"Just one more thing." James said, his voice laced with something she had never once heard in his voice before. Defeat.

Sirius and Remus stopped dead in their tracks and turned.

"I thought I meant more to you two." he said softly, hurt. "I thought we were friends. I thought we were going to be there for each other no matter what. Remember? All for one, one for all..."

He smiled a soft smile and Lily stood up. Anger filling her body, every nerve in her body intent on hurting both Sirius Black and Remus Lupin as much as she could.

James seemed to sense the hate radiating off of her, because he turned away from both Sirius and Remus and put an arm around her shoulders to hold her back.

She tried to shrug him off, her mind focused on one single thing.

To hurt them.

Both Sirius and Remus looked scared and started backing unconsciously.

"How dare you two put demands on him like that!" she shouted and tried to get away from James, who was now holding two arms around her waist, lifting her up, carrying her across the room to the portrait hole.

"Let me down, James! I'm going to-"

"You're not going to do anything." James said, his tone hard. "It's not worth it."

She struggled against him and felt wet tears slide down her face.

"Don't say that!" she said and hammered his chest. "They're your _friends_! Your best friends! Your brothers! If they're not worth it then..." she pushed against his chest again, but it was a vain attempt. "They have no right to treat you that way; you haven't done anything wrong..."

Her voice wavered.

She tried to hold back tears that were once again filling up her eyes and then relaxed in his arms.

He set her down again and she cried against his chest.

Sirius and Remus were still staring at them, rooted to the spot, as James led Lily out of the common room.

Both of them staring awkwardly out into the room before turning silently and walking back up to their dorm.

--------------------------------------------------------

Lily waited outside the common room for what felt like days.

James was at madam Pomfrey's, receiving a check-up, and Lily had decided that even if James was unwilling to be angry at his best friends, she certainly could.

Just as she was about to give up, the pair of them exited the portrait hole, not seeing her on the floor beside it.

"Black! Lupin!" she called after them and they stopped immediately.

She walked up to them and they eyed her with a weary expression.

Without hesitation she slapped them both hard.

They looked at her, stunned; her body was burning with a kind of hatred she had never felt before when she saw them look at her.

"James may be declined to yell at the two of you, but I sure as hell don't have that problem."

She paused for a moment and turned her attention to Remus, who was eyeing her with cool contempt.

"I thought you were better than this, _Lupin_." she said coldly, using his name against him like Sirius had done to James. "You don't think I know how much he's given to keep you happy? Severus told me that you were a werewolf in fifth year and I know, for a fact, that the others come with you as illegal animagi every full moon."

Sirius opened his mouth but she spoke before he could say anything.

"Don't worry, Black," she said coldly "James didn't tell me anything, he thinks your friendship is too important to even tell me about your secret. But _I _am not dense; I can put two and two together."

She turned to Remus again.

"I'll bet you anything that it was James' idea that they'd go with you."

The awkward silence that followed told her that she had been right.

"Look, Evans-"

"I am not finished, Black!" she said hotly and Sirius closed his mouth, looking positively terrified.

"And you, Sirius, how could you even put him on the spot like that? He was the only one who stood on your side after the incident with Remus in fifth year. He rarely talks about anything else than what a _good friend_ you are or how you've helped him so much. He speaks of you like he would of a brother."

Her vision was becoming blurry and hot tears were pouring from her eyes. She didn't care any longer.

"He gave you shelter when you ran from your family. When you ran from what they stood for, from their prejudices. And here you are, turning your back on your best friend because he is friends with and almost dating a mudblood."

Sirius shoulders seemed to slouch and she wondered, amazed, if she had actually gotten through his thick skull.

"And there you stand, Remus, the only one who can understand what he's going through. The only one he can talk to about battling a disease everyday and you too, just walk away..."

Remus tried to reach out and touch her arm, to sooth her, but she stepped back.

"I'm disgusted with the two of you." she spat out, the venom returning to her voice.

"If you talk to him, it will only be to beg for his forgiveness, and you better _pray_ he gives it to you. I won't ever forgive you for what you did to him, or what you said and did to me. If you decide that he's still not worthy of your company when he's dating a filthy, clumsy, stuck up, sluttish muggleborn. Then _stay the hell away from him_." she finished, using Sirius words back at him.

Without another word she turned and left them, once again, staring at her crying, retreating back.

--------------------------------------------------------

"Hello, gorgeous." a deep, masculine voice said in her ear as two arms wrapped around her waist.

"Amos, let go." she laughed and stepped away from him.

"Can't a bloke just say hi?" he asked, sounding offended.

"Say it with some distance." she smiled and he grinned.

"One day, Lily, you're going to realise what a stand-up-bloke I am and give into me."

"And one day, you're going to realise that I won't." she teased.

He feigned hurt and put a hand over his heart.

"You wound me, Lily."

"Am I interrupting something?"

Lily spun around to see James standing there, his arms crossed and with a look of pure hatred fixed upon Amos.

"Err, you know what, Lily, I'll see you around." Amos said awkwardly and she nodded.

"No, don't leave on my account."

If Lily thought she had heard the worst earlier that day with Sirius, she was now in for a big surprise.

The venom and disgust that poured through the innocent words were enough to make her blush in embarrassment.

She could hear his steps on the floor and knew he was now standing next to her, eyeing Amos.

"I, er, have to go anyway. So, yeah, goodbye then." Amos said hurriedly and then ran off.

"Where the hell do you get off?" she exclaimed loudly when Amos had rounded the corner and shoved James hard in the chest. "We weren't doing _anything_ inappropriate and you know it!"

"He's a pig, Lily; he goes through girls like other people go through their underwear!"

"You don't think I know that?" she retorted and he bit his lip and looked away, not answering her.

"Do you have anything to say for your defence?" her voice was quivering again and she hated it.

"I just..." he broke off, hesitating "When I see you with others I just get... scared, I guess. Scared that you'll loose interest in me. I've liked you for too long to just let you go now, now that I have you."

She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him close.

"How many times do I have to say this? You're the only one I want. There's no one else I would rather spend time with and there never will be anyone else who can make me feel the way you do."

His hands held tight to her waist and she stood on her toes and bit down on his earlobe.

"Don't be jealous..." she whispered into his ear and he shivered.

"I won't," he promised "if you keep on holding me this way."

She smiled and pulled back, looking him into the eyes.

"I promise."

He kissed her cheek and then looked at her in a funny way when he touched a finger to his lips.

"Have you been crying?"

She looked down into the floor.

"Was it Sirius?" he said almost immediately.

"Kind of." she said vaguely and anger flared in his eyes. "But he didn't do anything to me."

"What did you do?" he said wearily "Did you talk to him?"

"Er, define talking." she mumbled and he looked at her with an unreadable expression.

"Did you yell at him? Even though I told you not to?"

"I couldn't exactly let them get away with what they did to you, could I? They were, I don't know... but I had to fix it..."

She expected him to yell at her, but instead he pulled her into a passionate, almost violent, kiss.

She gasped in surprise and he took the opportunity to delve his tongue into her mouth. His hands came up to cup her face, tilting it to gain better access.

Her palms rested on his chest, making small insistent circles.

He threaded one hand into her hair and the other started rubbing her neck with his thumb, massaging the pulse point and earning a moan from her.

"Wait..." she said and broke free from his lips "What about... What did she say? Madam Pomfrey?" she clarified, more to herself than to him. Desperately trying to sort out her thoughts that he had managed to tangle so skilfully with his lips.

"My body is healthy." he replied softly. "I'm still a bit underweight, but I always have been, so it's not really a problem."

"Are you okay?" she asked cautiously. If it was one thing she had learnt from being with him, it was that always deal with the problems directly. Otherwise he would keep it all to himself and instead of handling it, not eat.

"I don't know." he answered honestly and she nodded, sliding out of his grasp and onto the floor, leaning her back against the stone wall.

"Sit down, it's talking time." she smiled and patted the seat next to her.

"I just worked so hard to become _perfect_." He spat out the word as if it disgusted him "And now, everything, all those efforts are just... erased."

He saw the look on her face and continued hurriedly.

"It's not that I want to go back to what I was. It just all seems so pointless... I can't even look in the mirror these days. Now I see someone who I used to hate. Someone you used to hate."

She took his hand and caressed the palm of it with her fingers.

"I never hated you." she said slowly and his head snapped up at her in surprise. "I disliked how you treated younger students and Severus. I didn't like that you had so much power, that everybody looked up to you, and then used that power the way you did. I didn't know if you were just joking or planning to prank me when you asked me out and I didn't like that you made me feel insecure. But I never hated you."

"So what now?" he asked quietly and she smiled at him.

"Well first of all I'm going to tell you that I'm extremely proud of you and then..." she paused and blushed a little "And then I'm going to ask you what this means. For us."

He smiled when she said this.

One of his big, goofy, breathtaking smiles she never could get enough of.

"I asked Poppy... and she said that it might be okay for me to see someone now. As long as it's not stressful and as long as I'm sure that I can handle it."

"Can you handle it?" she asked breathless, the anticipation killing her slowly.

"Handling is my middle name..." he grinned as he brought his face closer to hers.

"Funny, I always thought it was Benjamin..." she smiled and inched her face closer to his.

"I have two." he replied and closed the distance between them. Her eyes fluttered close as their lips made contact and she put a hand on his chest to steady herself.

After a while he pulled her up in his lap so that she was straddling him. She drew a shuddering breath when she realised what kind of position they were in.

She could feel him press into her hip and it only fuelled her need.

Their kiss deepened even more and she drew her fingers through his hair as his hand travelled from her waist to cup her breast.

"James..." she moaned into his mouth and he pulled her closer to him.

Somehow he had managed to unbutton her blouse and his fingers were stroking her bare skin, causing her hips to involuntarily roll over his.

He let out a low, guttural moan and suddenly she felt desired, powerful, _like a woman_.

She raked her nails down his chest and then came in contact with the hair below his navel. She drew her nail down his stomach, following the string of hair until she came in contact with his -

"Lily!" he gasped and she smiled innocently at him.

He unclasped her bra and she started pulling at his shirt, pushing it over his shoulders.

He was everything to her right there; she didn't even remember where she was.

A loud bang, however, made her acutely aware of it.

"Moony! What the hell!" Sirius voice seemed to come from thin air, next to the suit of armour that had fallen to the floor.

She froze, as did James and she suddenly became very aware that her bra was unclasped and her blouse unbuttoned.

James on the other hand was staring at the spot where Sirius voice had been heard.

As soon as she had managed to get herself somewhat decent he stood up with force.

"You took my cloak?" he said into the air, his eyes narrowed and his voice deadly low.

She watched in amazement as Sirius and Remus appeared from out of nowhere, a sheepish look on their faces.

"You ask me to choose between two things I can't afford to loose, you cut me out of your lives, you play hell with me when I find something to keep me alive and then you take the cloak I've inherited from my father?"

There was steel in his voice.

"Well," Sirius said "we did say that we were going to share it."

"We also said that we would stick together through better or worse. Things change."

"Look, James -" Remus started saying but lost his voice when James stared at him with hate.

"You don't have the right to call me James. To you two, I'm Potter."

He grabbed the cloak violently and started walking away.

"We also said that everyone deserves a second chance... We came to apologise, Prongs." Sirius called after him.

He turned abruptly.

"This isn't something that we can fix over a bottle of firewhiskey, Black! You think you can just hurt me like that then say that you're sorry and everything will be okay? It doesn't work like that!"

"Well, you chose her, didn't you?"

"I chose her because she wasn't the one asking me to choose."

His statement seemed to hang in the air.

"What are you saying?" Remus asked quietly. "There's no chance you'll ever forgive us?"

"I don't know." he sighed. "Not right now, anyway."

"Can you please just think about it?" Sirius pleaded and Lily stared at him in surprise.

They were actually begging. She had never seen Sirius like this before and she realised that it was her words that had opened his eyes, turned him into something else.

Just like he had done to her.

She tugged lightly at James hand.

"Come on... Let's go." she said quietly and he nodded as he broke Sirius desperate gaze.

They'd taken a few steps when James turned again.

"I'll think about it."

Lily didn't miss the relieved look on both Sirius and Remus' faces.

--------------------------------------------------------

Sirius and Remus had come to the Heads Dorm that night, and Lily had casually walked up to her room, sensing that the three boys needed to be alone.

That didn't stop her from pressing her ear against the door, clinging to every word that was spoken.

"I was jealous." Sirius muffled voice could be heard.

"Jealous?"

James sounded surprised. Lily could understand him. What on earth could Sirius be jealous of? That James suffered from anorexia and was thinner than him?

"Of you and Lily. How she could help you when we couldn't."

Oh. Okay, that sounded reasonable.

"Why didn't you talk to me about it?" James demanded.

"I didn't think you'd understand. I thought you would pick her over me."

"Why do I have to pick between the two of you? Can't I have her and you? Why does it have to be either one?"

Sirius didn't seem to have an answer to that, as the silence hung between them for several minutes.

"What about you, Remus?" James said tiredly.

"You've done so much for me and I just couldn't stand the thought of something happening to you again. The thought of losing you scared me. So I blamed Lily because it was easier than blaming myself."

"The only one to blame for this is myself." James said firmly.

"If we only had been a bit more attentive... We were supposed to be your best friends and we didn't know what was going on!"

Remus outburst was so out of character for him Lily couldn't help but smile. Then she remembered what they were talking about and her smile quickly faded.

"I didn't want you to know what was going on! I was acting the way I always had. Pranking people, flirting with girls, going for a late night snack in the kitchen! You weren't supposed to know!"

"That doesn't change the fact that you almost died because we were too wrapped up in ourselves to notice what you were going through!"

She heard a noise and assumed that it was James banging his fist into the wooden table in front of the fire.

"When will you two get it? I don't blame you for not knowing, I'm not mad at you for not finding out. That you were there for me when I most needed it was more than I could hope for. I feel guilty for putting you through all of this. Affecting you with my problems. You were the only reason to why I didn't give up.

"Don't you see? I'm mad at you because you bailed on me today. I thought I could count on you to always be there for me, and you proved to me that I was wrong. "

"So you didn't like her better than us?"

Sirius sounded hopeful.

"I like Lily in a very different way from how I like you. But right now, yeah, she's a hell of a lot better than you two."

"But before we were jerks?" Sirius pressed on.

"I didn't like her more when she was being a bitch to me. But then, I liked you both equally, in very different ways. And now, I'm not so sure if I like you, whereas she's at the top of my list."

"We're sorry for that. For being mean to her." Remus said "If she makes you happy and helps you recover, then we shouldn't stand in her way."

"She's amazing, Prongs. The way she stood up for you today..."

"She's good at standing up for things she believes in."

"And she has one hell of a slap!"

James laughter surprised her. Not because Sirius comment hadn't been funny, but because it had been such a long time since she heard him laugh.

Remus joined him and then Sirius barking laughter.

When the laughter subdued a couple of minutes later Sirius spoke again, his voice soft.

"We're going to be okay, right?"

"Yeah," James said, a smile in his voice. "Of course we will. Brothers?"

"Always." Remus and Sirius said in unison.

"Now, I have to fill Lily in on all the parts she missed because the wood in her door was too thick. So get lost."

"We will, Filch took the map, didn't he?" Remus replied and James laughed again.

"We're still on for full moon then?" Remus said hopefully.

"Wouldn't miss it for anything."

"Except maybe for the chance of seeing Lily naked." Sirius teased.

"I can take a peak before heading out."

Lily blushed hard and was still a light shade of pink when James entered her room.

"You okay?" she asked and nodded.

"Good." she said and whacked him over the head.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"For talking about seeing me naked!"

"So you were listening?" he asked, a smug smile on his face.

She blushed again as she realised her error.

"Only the last bit..." she mumbled and he smirked.

"Of course."

"Shut up." she muttered and sat down on her bed.

"So," he said as he lay down next to her, his feet still on the floor. "Come up with any good baby names?"

"Yeah, I was thinking 'Never-going-to-happen' for our first born and the second one could be called 'Sod-off'."

"You don't think the other kids will tease them?" he smiled as she laid down on her side.

"They'll inherit my good looks and brains. Everyone will look up to them."

"You wound me, Evans." he replied in mock hurt and clutched a hand at his heart.

"You still love me." she replied cheekily and it took a second or two before the meaning of her words hit her.

There was a brief silence before he replied, softly.

"Yeah. You're right."

He rolled onto his side and looked into her eyes. The love shining bright in his deep hazel orbs.

"I am?"

He smiled.

"Aren't you always?"

"Well, of course. I just never thought you'd admit it."

She looked up at him bashfully.

"I love you too, you know."

"I know."

The relief she saw in his eyes kept her from whacking him over the head again.

"I've always loved you." he said and caressed her cheek with his thumb, tracing the lines of her face.

"I'll always love you." she replied and he grinned.

"So... about that nakedness? How about we don't wait until full moon?"

She raised an eyebrow and his grin widened.

"You can't blame a guy for trying."

"Did you hear me say no?"

It took less than a second for him to lean over and press his lips against hers.

"Did I mention that I love you?" he murmured against her lips.

And Lily knew, that right there, in that moment, life would never get better.

THE END

**A/N: I'm so corny. I know. Now, don't forget to do that nice little thing that we call "reviewing". If you don't review, I might do something nasty. I have no shame. You are warned. **

**WARNING! DH SPOILER!**

**Also, I've been thinking about writing something about the "new" James Potter, Harry's son. Anyone interested?**


End file.
